That's what I would call it anyway. T_T
Nearly got kidnapped, one of my room mates got dropped off by her ex 20 miles from here and had to walk home in the dark, friend of mine is raped and then another friend dies, then another goes to surgery for internal bleeding...
uuhh...
I'm gonna go pray now. :P
About Me
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sick~
My nose...My ears...they're so stuffy T_T!
And...My eyes won't stop overflowing with tears, oooo it fuckin' burns yo~
So...
I'm gonna go rest now. ;P
And...My eyes won't stop overflowing with tears, oooo it fuckin' burns yo~
So...
I'm gonna go rest now. ;P
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Today
More like...tomorrow?
Well, I'm writing about yesterday.
I guess it's not really much to talk about. Basically, mom hates this new place, it's always noisey, people talk trashy, we want to move back to L.A. but we have a credit issue to deal with and our car was stolen a few weeks ago so that makes it hella hard to move again, she's bugging me about school and my career, "You're getting nowhere with your life, maybe you should've done that porno job you got offered" or "You're good at voice acting like a girl, why don't you get a phone sex job." or "You know how to use a computer, why don't you get a secretary job", we argued for a few hours, I'm dealing with violent-typed homophobes on a day to day basis,I bitched and cried my ass off, because of everything going through my head about my physical, financial, housing, romantic and emotional/spirital difficulties.
And trust me. They're difficult, I'm not some emo kid with invisible problems, so please don't go there.
After the morning full of all that, we went to our previous residence, back in good ol Santa Ana. HAH......Mum picked up her paycheck, I went into the apartment and got the rest of the things I wanted to keep, which was all food btw...plus easter eggs >>;, then we headed up to the Adult Education center to see about Job Referrals, Schooling, GED test, etc.
On the fucking way there though. I swear to god. So many people hit on me. This guy driving by at the bus stop gave me this look that sent shivers down my spine AND THEN...a dude on the BUS didn't think I knew he was looking at me. He looked like he was in heaven just staring at me. I have no idea why. I swear it pisses me off when people like THEM (Gross people) think they could ever have anything to do with me in any intimate way whatsoever.I ended up taking off my sunglasses and giving him my uber death glare. He got the message. ;PEh...To wrap it all up.
It's like what...nearing 3AM now? Phone keeps ringing, no way to turn it off (It's a pay phone...yeah...in the HOUSE.) People in the house are coughing their brains out. I'd really give people advice but, they don't listen to me? Here's one thing...When you have a friggen lung infection...don't fucking SMOKE...duh. And the next thing...Don't eat junk food.
I don't think they teach kids too much about health in schools now do they? You need to realize that sugar and carbs are the worst thing you can have when you have an infection. So completely avoid the stuff for at least 3-5 days during your sickness. That means no fruit or juice either. It'll just make the bacteria grow more.
Cut back on the Breads, Oatmeal, Wheat, Potatoes, Corn, Beans, etc. It will also cause your infection to worsen.
Drink 40-50 ounces of water (adding mint or "Throat Coat" Tea to it helps tons with irritation), have chicken broth with vegetables, tomato soup with a little bit of brown rice and have protiens like eggs and fish. Oh and of course, sleep a lot and make it a point that you "Sweat it out", it'll speed up your recovery time and you should feel all better within a week promise.
Anyway, the doctor has come out of my brain again. But it's good to listen. I don't always listen to my "internal" doctor and then regret not following the rules.The rest of my day was focused on the College preparation stuffs and getting one of those...normalish jobs so y'know...I can pay my rent, get a new car WITH insurance this time, get back to my doctor and finish therapy and of course, get my damn music career rolling once and for all.
I also hung out with some friends I havn't seen in a long time. <3 From all I've been through, I thought it was a waste to come down here but thought twice when I realized I actually have people that care about me down here in the OC.
So it's all good :3
Imma go sleep now.
Night~
Well, I'm writing about yesterday.
I guess it's not really much to talk about. Basically, mom hates this new place, it's always noisey, people talk trashy, we want to move back to L.A. but we have a credit issue to deal with and our car was stolen a few weeks ago so that makes it hella hard to move again, she's bugging me about school and my career, "You're getting nowhere with your life, maybe you should've done that porno job you got offered" or "You're good at voice acting like a girl, why don't you get a phone sex job." or "You know how to use a computer, why don't you get a secretary job", we argued for a few hours, I'm dealing with violent-typed homophobes on a day to day basis,I bitched and cried my ass off, because of everything going through my head about my physical, financial, housing, romantic and emotional/spirital difficulties.
And trust me. They're difficult, I'm not some emo kid with invisible problems, so please don't go there.
After the morning full of all that, we went to our previous residence, back in good ol Santa Ana. HAH......Mum picked up her paycheck, I went into the apartment and got the rest of the things I wanted to keep, which was all food btw...plus easter eggs >>;, then we headed up to the Adult Education center to see about Job Referrals, Schooling, GED test, etc.
On the fucking way there though. I swear to god. So many people hit on me. This guy driving by at the bus stop gave me this look that sent shivers down my spine AND THEN...a dude on the BUS didn't think I knew he was looking at me. He looked like he was in heaven just staring at me. I have no idea why. I swear it pisses me off when people like THEM (Gross people) think they could ever have anything to do with me in any intimate way whatsoever.I ended up taking off my sunglasses and giving him my uber death glare. He got the message. ;PEh...To wrap it all up.
It's like what...nearing 3AM now? Phone keeps ringing, no way to turn it off (It's a pay phone...yeah...in the HOUSE.) People in the house are coughing their brains out. I'd really give people advice but, they don't listen to me? Here's one thing...When you have a friggen lung infection...don't fucking SMOKE...duh. And the next thing...Don't eat junk food.
I don't think they teach kids too much about health in schools now do they? You need to realize that sugar and carbs are the worst thing you can have when you have an infection. So completely avoid the stuff for at least 3-5 days during your sickness. That means no fruit or juice either. It'll just make the bacteria grow more.
Cut back on the Breads, Oatmeal, Wheat, Potatoes, Corn, Beans, etc. It will also cause your infection to worsen.
Drink 40-50 ounces of water (adding mint or "Throat Coat" Tea to it helps tons with irritation), have chicken broth with vegetables, tomato soup with a little bit of brown rice and have protiens like eggs and fish. Oh and of course, sleep a lot and make it a point that you "Sweat it out", it'll speed up your recovery time and you should feel all better within a week promise.
Anyway, the doctor has come out of my brain again. But it's good to listen. I don't always listen to my "internal" doctor and then regret not following the rules.The rest of my day was focused on the College preparation stuffs and getting one of those...normalish jobs so y'know...I can pay my rent, get a new car WITH insurance this time, get back to my doctor and finish therapy and of course, get my damn music career rolling once and for all.
I also hung out with some friends I havn't seen in a long time. <3 From all I've been through, I thought it was a waste to come down here but thought twice when I realized I actually have people that care about me down here in the OC.
So it's all good :3
Imma go sleep now.
Night~
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
With all my heart.
Times have changed a lot. Especially in my own life...I'm attempting to stay commited to writing a blog now, as hard as it was for me to keep up with it before, I should really keep note of everything.I never know when I might go, and I don't want to leave this earth without leaving my memories behind for others to see and take for their own spirits to meditate upon.My current situation that I live in is poverty. Everywhere I turn, there is so much lack.I cover up, it's very easy online to look like you're okay. Sure, I own things like a camera and a computer. I have a roof over my head, I have food and clothing and a bed.But my physical surroundings are far from the safest. I don't live a life such as the normal American. Not like the life your typical American that thinks they have it "bad" does.There's no doubt on my part that you might have a sucky life. We all have our shit to wad around in and I know I don't even have it as bad as some of these kids you see in third world countries. One of the biggest weaknesses a person can have against them, the one that keeps them from succeeding like the more productive people you see in society, has a huge focus upon their attitude on life, their daily routine and what obstacles they have to encounter.I've encountered one boulder after another, unable to rest and recover because after I've gotten half way up from the ground, I get kicked in the gut again.My life is similar to boot camp, only, it lasts much longer. It never ends and no one physically or emotionally helps.People live in fear and many people fear to get involved with anyone that's hurting. They fear their safe bubble will be popped. Many humans don't even realize how good they actually have it. I have talked to so many young adults that want to kill themselves, they abuse their bodies, whine about not having all that they want. When in reality, these people I talk to have the one thing I only wish I could have. Health...They abuse themselves, and destroy the only thing that can really save them from what they want in life. Their body, mind and soul.
I used to live in Beverly Hills just 3 years ago, living a high quality life full of security and a good level of happiness. Now I live in a low class, Roach infested, Sober living home... When I say low class, I mean low intelligence levels, filthy language, destructive behavior that is absolutely uncalled for, disrespectful towards cultural and physical differences which I personally cannot tolerate. I'm proud of my ethnicity and who I am and disrespect anyone that disrespects my differences.You probably wonder how I got to this low level. It started from the day I was born and gradually worsened as time went on. My parents have never been wealthy and I've always had health problems, born about a month premature, cleft pallete which made it difficult to eat anything at all, weak immune system and physically weak as well.My fathers jealousy towards the attention I was given by my mother didn't help anyone.She had to constantly nurse me, because no one else would, the hospitals were unhelpful and only made things worse. She had to get up and feed me every two hours to get nutrients into me. Most of the time, my food wouldn't go down and would come out of my nose or just come back up. I was a very skinny baby, and it didn't help that I was always getting sick with fevers. There's been many times in my life that I almost didn't survive due to starvation.
-TBC
I used to live in Beverly Hills just 3 years ago, living a high quality life full of security and a good level of happiness. Now I live in a low class, Roach infested, Sober living home... When I say low class, I mean low intelligence levels, filthy language, destructive behavior that is absolutely uncalled for, disrespectful towards cultural and physical differences which I personally cannot tolerate. I'm proud of my ethnicity and who I am and disrespect anyone that disrespects my differences.You probably wonder how I got to this low level. It started from the day I was born and gradually worsened as time went on. My parents have never been wealthy and I've always had health problems, born about a month premature, cleft pallete which made it difficult to eat anything at all, weak immune system and physically weak as well.My fathers jealousy towards the attention I was given by my mother didn't help anyone.She had to constantly nurse me, because no one else would, the hospitals were unhelpful and only made things worse. She had to get up and feed me every two hours to get nutrients into me. Most of the time, my food wouldn't go down and would come out of my nose or just come back up. I was a very skinny baby, and it didn't help that I was always getting sick with fevers. There's been many times in my life that I almost didn't survive due to starvation.
-TBC
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