With all my heart.

Times have changed a lot. Especially in my own life...I'm attempting to stay commited to writing a blog now, as hard as it was for me to keep up with it before, I should really keep note of everything.I never know when I might go, and I don't want to leave this earth without leaving my memories behind for others to see and take for their own spirits to meditate upon.My current situation that I live in is poverty. Everywhere I turn, there is so much lack.I cover up, it's very easy online to look like you're okay. Sure, I own things like a camera and a computer. I have a roof over my head, I have food and clothing and a bed.But my physical surroundings are far from the safest. I don't live a life such as the normal American. Not like the life your typical American that thinks they have it "bad" does.There's no doubt on my part that you might have a sucky life. We all have our shit to wad around in and I know I don't even have it as bad as some of these kids you see in third world countries. One of the biggest weaknesses a person can have against them, the one that keeps them from succeeding like the more productive people you see in society, has a huge focus upon their attitude on life, their daily routine and what obstacles they have to encounter.I've encountered one boulder after another, unable to rest and recover because after I've gotten half way up from the ground, I get kicked in the gut again.My life is similar to boot camp, only, it lasts much longer. It never ends and no one physically or emotionally helps.People live in fear and many people fear to get involved with anyone that's hurting. They fear their safe bubble will be popped. Many humans don't even realize how good they actually have it. I have talked to so many young adults that want to kill themselves, they abuse their bodies, whine about not having all that they want. When in reality, these people I talk to have the one thing I only wish I could have. Health...They abuse themselves, and destroy the only thing that can really save them from what they want in life. Their body, mind and soul.
I used to live in Beverly Hills just 3 years ago, living a high quality life full of security and a good level of happiness. Now I live in a low class, Roach infested, Sober living home... When I say low class, I mean low intelligence levels, filthy language, destructive behavior that is absolutely uncalled for, disrespectful towards cultural and physical differences which I personally cannot tolerate. I'm proud of my ethnicity and who I am and disrespect anyone that disrespects my differences.You probably wonder how I got to this low level. It started from the day I was born and gradually worsened as time went on. My parents have never been wealthy and I've always had health problems, born about a month premature, cleft pallete which made it difficult to eat anything at all, weak immune system and physically weak as well.My fathers jealousy towards the attention I was given by my mother didn't help anyone.She had to constantly nurse me, because no one else would, the hospitals were unhelpful and only made things worse. She had to get up and feed me every two hours to get nutrients into me. Most of the time, my food wouldn't go down and would come out of my nose or just come back up. I was a very skinny baby, and it didn't help that I was always getting sick with fevers. There's been many times in my life that I almost didn't survive due to starvation.
-TBC